Healing and Moving Beyond Fear

Fear has driven many of my past decisions, I now recognize.

I said no to a prestigious research internship in college and instead chose to work at a retail outlet store because I feared that my then-boyfriend wouldn't stick around if I spent three months away. I chose my course of study because I was told it would make me the most money post graduation – not because of any personal interest. It wasn't until I moved to the Azores and started living my dream that I realized what it means to move beyond fear and to really "heal" yourself from the inner dialogue that could be keeping you stuck.

How many things do we say "No" to because of a deeply rooted fear? How many possibilities do we sabotage because we think we aren't good enough or don't deserve them? 

"Healing" is an important part of moving beyond fear. The physical symptoms are often the first sign that something is out of balance.

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"In our modern era, we have perhaps become too reliant on popping a pill for every
ache, pain, or sensation. While medications can definitely provide relief, they often do
not solve the root problem or provide a lasting solution; all they do is mask your
ability to understand the problem and learn what your body is trying to tell you."
   
-The Power of Positive Energy by Tanaaz Chubb

We can become victims of an illness or a chronic pain and these situations only enhance our fear.

I suffered from chronic urinary tract infections and even had cervical pre-cancer for which I underwent two procedures. I never thought that my "chronic illness" had anything to do with fear or imbalances in my overall energy.

Sure, at the surface there was a bacterial infection; but why was my body unable to naturally protect itself, and why did it keep coming back? Ultimately, the chronic infections were a sign of an imbalanced root/sacral chakra; a balanced root chakra comes from nourishing what feeds your soul: slowing down, feeling safe and secure, and trusting you have everything you need. A balanced sacral chakra comes from feeling free to be creative and express your emotions, making time to "go with the flow" versus being tied to a rigid and fixed schedule. 

My fear of never being "good enough" led me to constantly seek more – more promotions, more money, more responsibility. I overcommitted and overstretched, never allowing myself to ground or root down. I was not able to explore my creative potential. I was following a straight line of what I believed to be climbing of the ladder of success – not to mention the drinking and terrible eating habits that came with that lifestyle. 

No wonder my "chronic illness" was in the area of these chakras. 

https://interestingengineering.com/string-theory-explained-a-brief-overview-for-starters

All matter is made up of energy, and everything in life is made of tiny vibrating strings, (check out String Theory). 

Our bones, muscles and organs are all vibrating energy, as are our emotions and thoughts. Something we feel on an "energetic level" influences our emotions. If unprocessed or left to accumulate, this manifests in our physical body. 

Take a child who develops diabetes. On the surface the diagnosis is clear since the child consumes large amounts of sugar in his diet on a daily basis. However, if we look closer, this child comes from a broken home where his mother tells him daily how stupid he is, how he's "such an idiot", and so his energy body is "empty", he feels sucked and drained. Emotions of low self-esteem and low-self-worth accumulate daily and the child looks to sugar to "fill himself up". So while Diabetes is a real medical condition that requires medication and treatment, the real treatment lies far beyond the sugar addiction. (Adapted from "Reiki, the science, metaphysics and philosophy by Dr. John + Esther Veltheim)

​Think of illness like an iceberg. The symptom (the headache, the infection, the chronic pain) is the tip of the iceberg. What lies beneath may be a combination of factors such as genetic predisposition, diet, physical habits, previous physical injury AND your emotional and spiritual wellbeing. The symptom is what manifests in the physical body but what lies beneath is hidden from any doctor or specialist. Only you know your iceberg.

Let's take two women with stomach ulcers, for example. The tip of the iceberg is the stomach ulcer but in the first case what "lies beneath" is that the woman has taken a job in Thailand and is eating copious amounts of Thai food. ​

http://www.wellpeople.com/WhatIsWellness.aspx

The diagnosis is simple - reduce the spicy food intake and take an antacid. For the other woman it's more complicated; she has recently been divorced and spent two years worrying about the divorce proceedings, living alone and not taking care of herself. Her higher levels of stress led to acidic secretions in the stomach and even if she takes antacids daily the stomach ulcer won't go away until she treats the anxiety and depression that lies beneath. 

This is why you need to heal on the mind-body-spirit level. You are more intuitive than you believe and oftentimes if you simply ask your illness what it's trying to tell you, you will know. 

So what does fear have to do with healing? ​

https://www.mindful.org/a-mindfulness-practice-for-facing-your-fears/

​Fear is the massive unknown beneath the tip of the iceberg. It's the deep-rooted feeling that "someone is out to get me" or that "I can't trust anyone" or that "I'm not good enough". It's the stuff of those repetitive nightmares you don't tell people about. 

Once we look beneath the surface of the symptom and chip away at the base of the iceberg, many aspects of our life (and our illness) improve. 

Facing our fear, and being willing to face it, diminishes its hold on us. Once I realized I could truly put my mind to ANYTHING and do it, my illness and pain faded away. Sure I stub my toe and get a cold here and there, but these aren't the chronic illnesses I'm talking about. 

How do we move beyond fear? 

Recognize the difference between the voice of your ego and the voice of your heart (or soul). Thanks Tanaaz Chubb for this insight.

Sometimes I think, "I want to share this story and write a book" and then my ego voice says, "There are a million stories like yours, why would anyone be interested? Plus that's way too much work you don't have time for..." Sound familiar? 

The voice of the ego isn't always bad, however. It's the voice of "survival mode", created to protect you. We need our ego to warn us against danger, create boundaries and rationalize things. The voice of the ego is heavily conditioned by society, past experiences, culture and fear. 

The voice of the heart is the voice of your hopes and dreams. This voice communicates to you through dreams, compassionate feelings and fantasies. 

You need both of these to navigate beyond fear. You need to create space to actually hear the voice of your heart (as we're not used to listening to it), and feel in for messages and inspiration. Then use the voice of the ego to put the ideas and inspiration into action. Know how to differentiate the voices and which one is in charge. 

As my wise student Claudia once said, "Ego is like wine; a little bit does the mind and body good, but too much and you get a hangover".

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